it's like heaven, but drunker
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
Randomize