Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
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