FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
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i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
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I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
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