worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
Brb crying the tears of my youth
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
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