i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
She told me I should be a condom model.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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