oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
Randomize
