Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
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