DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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