I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Randomize
