oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
Randomize
