It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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