I wanna passion pit in your ass
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
Randomize
