Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
