Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
Randomize
