dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
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