drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
Randomize
