So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
