then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
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