Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
where are my pants?
in the oven.
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