If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
Randomize
