I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
i just woke up with two martini umbrellas taped to my nipples... idk how they got there
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Randomize
