Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
Randomize