At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
bring money and cleavage
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
When you have to have Siri remind you that you're on your period cuz you're so drunk you keep forgetting about tampons it might be time to call it a night.
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
Randomize
