so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
When did angry sex become our thing?
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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