he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
Randomize
