I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize
