Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
Randomize
