So drunk its hurt
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
Randomize
