I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize