batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
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