i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
well most of my day revolves around power hour
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Randomize
