I'm in a cab, in a strange city, and my driver looks like he's going to eat me. My facebook password is **** I want you to have the one thing I hold dearest to my heart.
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
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