if you like me you must not know who I am
I wannas sexs uuuuu
ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
It's shark week go big or go home
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
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