Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
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