did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
Randomize
