So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
Randomize
