I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
Will you blow on my dice?
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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