listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
Randomize
