That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
You can't just leave with hair like that
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
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