windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
Randomize
