Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
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