Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Randomize
