I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
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