Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
Randomize
