I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
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