Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
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