Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
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