do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
