Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
You sat on a wall pretending to be a gargoyle before shouting "batman!" and jumping at me
I'm the drunk Des Moines deserves, but not the one it needs
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
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