You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
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