I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
I woke up under a house in Key West
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