oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Randomize
