We won't sleep together?
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Randomize
