Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
