I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
Randomize
