Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
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