I just threw up on my dentist
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
Randomize
