K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
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