i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
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