Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
Randomize
