at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
Randomize
