i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
Randomize
